Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize