I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
