Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
