Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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