I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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