there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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