Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
