It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
