being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize