you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
