we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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