Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Someone shattered a urinal.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
