Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
