I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize