I can tuck mytits in my pants
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
