So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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