Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
