wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
