Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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