do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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