I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
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