that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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