There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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