i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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