Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry TpavASU hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(620): View more from Kansas

Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

(1-620): View more from Kansas

No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

Fav 9 1806 856
share tweet
(650): View more from California

I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

Fav 18 1230 3141
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.

Fav 19 2889 924
share tweet
(701): View more from North Dakota

Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...

Fav 5 2581 736
share tweet
(931): View more from Tennessee

i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually

Fav 3 1268 822
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.

Fav 4 1852 813
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles

Fav 0 856 520
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.

Fav 0 136 88
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.

Fav 0 97 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT