So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
