Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
