he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
