I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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