It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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