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Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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