I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
