Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize