i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize