Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
