i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
