so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
