I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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