So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
