You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
More tranny stories later!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
