so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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