I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
