You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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