Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
