not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
