we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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