Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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