Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
