Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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