yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
