THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
