i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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