I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
