we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
