if you like me you must not know who I am
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
