We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
