So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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