You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Randomize
