i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
