yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize
