Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
