dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
