Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
