perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
